First Time

This wouldn’t be the first time that I did exactly what my sister asked me.  It wouldn’t be the 5th, or the 10th or perhaps not even the 20th time, in fact.  Although this certainly wouldn’t be the most difficult thing she has told me to do either, not by a long shot.

I am the middle of three children.  My sister is two years older than me and my brother is two years younger.  In fact he is 3 years and 363 days younger than my sister.  Perhaps it was their nearly shared birthdays that made them seem closer to each other than either of them was with me.  Or maybe it was the fact that most of my childhood I was the definition of the word goody two-shoes that kept them at arm’s length from me.  Either way though I was determined to get them to like me in any way that my extremely moral little mind would allow.  This of course had little to no effect on how they viewed me until we grew into adulthood.  It did have one consequence though and that was that I quite often did what I was told by my older sister.  The most dramatic of these do-as-you’re-told moments was when I moved cross-country, by myself from North Carolina to California, because if I didn’t she would never speak to me again.

Now I’m not trying to play the victim here.  Trust me I had a choice in the matter each time, but my need for my sister’s approval always out-weighed my own sense of what I wanted each time.  So don’t think that my intent is to bum you out, because it is quite the opposite.  My sister, brother and I are much closer now that we have grown older and wiser.  My sister has her own family now with two brilliant little ones and my brother has a beautiful little girl as well.  Having children seems to mature you faster than anything else in this world when it comes to how you deal with your family.  We may be farther apart physically than we have ever been our entire lives, but it seems that no amount of miles can effect the bond that we have forged over these many years as adults.

So why, you may ask, am I listening to my big sister yet again and starting this blog?  Because she has never steered me wrong yet.  She pushed me to try things that I would have never tried, go places I never would have gone, do things I never would have done and meet people, who if I never would have tried, gone or done, I never would have met.  Those things have helped me discover an independence and a tenacity that I don’t think I would have uncovered about myself if I hadn’t tried so hard to win her approval.  It’s those decisions that have led me to be the person I am today.  I am far from done making discoveries about myself and I can’t wait to share the little and big things I learn along the way with those who are willing to take the journey with me.  So like many of my first times trying something new, this first post is the product of big-sibling pressure and love and I will most likely thank her for it one day.   I hope you will want to thank her too.


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